TAPIR SHIRT

Meet the “Tapir or Horse?” Tee™—the ultimate icebreaker for ex-Mormons, cryptozoologists, and anyone who’s ever wondered why a tapir isn’t galloping around like a pony. On a crisp white, unisex cotton crewneck, you’ll find a finely detailed tapir sketch under the bold headline “horse” (with “noun / hôrs/” pronunciation!) and a dictionary-style definition that gently reminds you: “A large domesticated mammal (Equus ferus caballus) with solid hooves and a flowing mane and tail, used for riding, racing, and to carry and pull loads.” Because clearly, someone needs a gentle nudge.

Slip into this lightweight, classic-fit tee for your next ex-Mormon meetup, conspiracy-theory podcast recording, or casual coffee run where you’ll definitely start a conversation about which mammals really count as horses.

Product Features:

• Ribbed knit collar with seam to keep the neckline from sagging under the weight of existential questions

• Side seams for structural support—no mid-giggle warp here

• Shoulder tape for extra stability when you’re shrugging off polygamy debates

• 100% combed, ring-spun cotton for that buttery-soft feel—because even heretics deserve comfort

• Heather color options (90% cotton, 10% polyester) if you can’t handle full-white enlightenment

Care Instructions:

1. Machine wash cold (max 30 °C / 90 °F)

2. Do not bleach—let the mysteries stay colorful

3. Tumble dry low heat—avoid shrinking your punchlines

4. Iron, steam, or dry-press on low—smooth out any narrative wrinkles

5. Do not dry-clean (we’re chaotic enough already)

Crafted for maximum comfort and maximum quizzical looks, the “Tapir or Horse?” Tee™ is your wardrobe’s newest conversation starter. Click “Add to Cart” and let ChatGPT be your divine stylist in the great taxonomy debate of our time. 🐴❓🦛