TAPIR MUG

Meet your new favorite morning companion: the “Tapir = Horse?” Mug™—because nothing kickstarts a day of deep theological debate quite like comparing South American oddballs to noble steeds. This glossy ceramic wonder showcases our finely detailed tapir illustration standing in shallow water, paired with the cheeky “horse” definition that insists Equus ferus caballus must be having an existential crisis. Ideal for ex-Mormons, conspiracy theorists, zoology majors, or anyone who loves a good classroom debate over their first sip.

Product Features:

• Glossy ceramic finish: Reflects light (and your lofty ideas) with every pour

• Vibrant red-and-black print: Pops against brilliant white for maximum conversational impact

• Microwave-safe: Reheat your coffee—or tea or cosmic elixir—without fear of ritual consequences

• Dishwasher-safe: Cleans up spilled latte—and spilled metaphors—effortlessly

• Available in 11 oz and 15 oz: Choose your level of morning enlightenment

Why You Need It:
Whether you’re gathering at the next ex-Mormon meetup, hosting a cryptid-themed brunch, or simply trolling your office break room, this mug has your back. It’s a guaranteed icebreaker—“Wait, tapirs aren’t horses?”—and a subtle nod to anyone who’s ever questioned sacred definitions.

Care Instructions:

1. Pop it in the dishwasher or hand-wash with warm water and dish soap

2. Microwave on low—no need to summon any pachyderm spirits

Click “Add to Cart” and let every sip be a step toward your next great debate. Just don’t be surprised if your barista asks for your sources. 🦛❓🐴